I always knew I would live in San Francisco after graduation. I knew it was a place I needed to be at that moment in my life. The close access to insane parks, the promise of a job with a team I adored, the excitement of meeting new people and continuing to figure out who I was. But the past year hasn’t been easy. Moving to a new city by yourself, ain’t all sunshine and rainbows (as much as I wish it was). I have struggled to find a community and meet people, to feel like I am making a difference with what I do as a designer and to feel like I belong.
But I kept pushing and staying hopefully and at the beginning of 2020 I finally felt like I was starting to find my way and feel a part of something in Oakland. I was taking classes at the most accepting yoga studio I’d ever been apart of, I was learning pottery from an amazing teacher with new friends, I was discovering more about my energy structure and the place we hold on the earth from my dear friend Jeannie, I was hiking as much as I wanted to, and it felt so good. It finally felt like I was making progress and growing how I had dreamed I would grow when I first moved out here. I was in love with the culture and vibrancy of Oakland and the openness of people to accept and love those around them.
Unfortunately, shortly after I started to feel comfortable and excited about this new shift, COVID hit (bum, bum, bum). I was all of a sudden without a job, without access to the community that I had finally started to build, in an apartment by myself, unable to hike, feeling lonelier and more confused than I had in years. Every day I would wake up, look at job listings that I wasn’t competitive for and wonder what the heck I was supposed to do next. I didn’t plan for this and we all know as much as I would like to be spontaneous, I am a planner.
It’s been a couple months since then and as I process and reflect on my time in the Bay area I am nothing but thankful. For the people, the places and the adventures I have had here. For the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, as in those places of vulnerability I have grown the most. I am so grateful to my team at Thumbtack for being my family, to pottery for teaching me that it’s ok to make a mess and not be perfect, to Jeannie for showing me that we are so much bigger than ourselves, to the trails for reminding me of what my biggest passion in life is and to the strangers that became friends.
But it’s time for a change and a shift, and as my lease is coming to an end, I have decided to move back to Ohio. I want to be around family and friends while I figure out this next stage of my life. To give myself space to create, to letterpress and screen print. To do some freelance work while working on my side passions that I have had on the to do list for so long. So while I feel every emotion under the sun about leaving the Bay, I know the timing is right. I don’t think my time on the West Coast is done (Seattle, you there?). But I am hopefully and excited to enter this next step with the support of my family and friends and a new fire under my butt to find a company to work for that I support with every part of my being.
Here are some photos from the past few months, which of course had to include one final epic road-trip with a magical friend (musings continued after):
I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason. So here’s to this next stage being full of unexpected discoveries, endless creativity and new perspective shifts.
Bay area pals - I love you, thank you for pushing me and supporting me in a really raw, transformative time of my life.
Ohio pals - I’ll see you soon bbs, grab the Rhinegeist!!
Cheers - keleniak
#heckya