2023, was one of those years I wish I could write to my younger self about. To share that all the dreams we had of adventure, of love, of life, of connection; are coming true. That all the risks we took and places we moved and fire we felt in our soul will all make sense. That you will feel so alive and so in love that you might burst. And man oh man is it so so beautiful and earth shattering.
I entered 2023 with a wish to continue to be present and to just take it all in. To truly embrace that magic lives in the release and acceptance of just allowing ourselves to feel and to be pulled in whatever direction we are supposed to be headed. To allow the mistakes to happen and to just keep learning and growing and letting the universe do it’s thing (she knows what’s up). And this year I took all the chances. I moved in with my partner, I started a new job, I moved abroad for 2 months and I came back to build a home and reconnect with community. And oh, I got engaged (what!). It felt like the year my soul finally connected in my body. Like what I had been searching for and hoping for finally settled into place and it all started to make sense. All the heartbreak and emotions and uncertainty about my place and what I was supposed to be doing and who I am, all those insecurities and voices quieted and I was able to just enjoy and savor my existence. The fire in my soul felt perfectly fed and nourished and in the right place. And I finally paused long enough to take it all in and appreciate it.
This year for me was also the year of love. Love for myself and all my quirks and imperfections and giving myself the space and grace to heal and grow (thanks therapy tehe). And love for Ori, sweet sweet Ori. I never thought I deserved a love like this. A kind, passionate, creative, adventurous, soul bending love. A love that pushes me to see myself in a kinder light. A love that exists within the quiet moments and the thrilling adventures. That sits in all the emotions and wildness of life. A love that makes me feel like a kid again, excited to experience it all and see it all. A love that I want to feed for this lifetime and a hundred more when we come back as redwoods. I am so grateful I waited to experience something like this with Ori and that I am building such a big, beautiful, weird life with the right person. Thank you O for loving me at my lowest and highest, for laughing with me and encouraging me to be the truest form of myself. For pushing me outside of my comfort zone and for dreaming with me about all the adventures we are going to have. I can’t wait to marry you.
The final lesson of this year was on how important connection is to my being. This year, I was able to build so many beautiful connections, both in Denver and in Peru. Peru being such a beautiful experience full of new culture and new places, but most importantly new people that wanted to experience and connect deeply. Those two months were so meaningful and healing for my soul. To be able to connect with people even with the barrier of language. To chat about life and dreams and take space to heal independently and collectively. To experience new things together and travel to new places and fully be immersed in a new culture. It was like studying abroad for grown ups and my goodness I loved every second of it. My heart settled, my soul quieted and I reconnected with the core of who I am and was able to take space to just exist and slow down. It nourished me to come back and continue to connect with community and appreciate all the people we have it Denver, friends and family alike. And to start to build deeper connections and moments with them. It makes me so exicted for the future and those friendships that will continue to grow and build. And further shows me how much we need connection and people to live a happy and full life.
For 2024, I wish for more patience for myself in my own personal growth. I hope to lose the ego around my creativity and create without bounds again. I hope to continue to find more time for practices that light me up: pottery, drawing, screen printing, punch needling and find who I am with those art forms again. I hope to explore other countries and feel the excitement of being completely immersed in other cultures. I hope for endless weekends surrounded by trees and the people I love. For adventures in Stan, now that he is finally (fingers-crossed) road ready. I hope to fall deeper and deeper in love with Ori and to have the biggest party of a wedding (70s disco cowboy style!!!🕺🪩✨🌈). I hope to be kind to myself and to really listen to what my mind, body and soul needs and to give myself grace to make mistakes and learn from them. I hope to move more; to music, at yoga, on my bike, on the trail, in any way I can. I hope to continue to foster a community and really invest in relationships, what beauty community and belonging are. To read more, write more, and tell the people I care about, how much I care about them more. I hope to learn more about the magic of the world and plants and dive deeper into my spirituality again. And I hope to continue to foster love and grace for myself and others, because we all deserve it. Cheers to the next year and hopefully feeling even more centered, alive and in love at the end of it.
Here are some of my fav moments from 2023 (rambles continued after):
1 engagement, 2 months in Peru, 3 U-Hauls, 4 pottery classes, 2 backpacking trips, 50 pints of ice-cream, 1 full ski season, 2 successful VW van trips, 10 sunrises, 1 pupper, 10 bike rides, 2 cats, 20 hikes, 4 tattoos, 20 pizzas, 20 sad cries, 100 happy cries, 100s of hours of Spotify, 3 mountain lake swims, 1 new house and here we are at the end of one of the most soul-healing years yet. Cheers to this next year being full of as many surprises and wonder as 2023.
xo
Kait