2022. A year I entered with the hope of acceptance. For what was to come and what was to be and a personal goal to just take it all one day at time. I had spent the last couple of years feeling pretty lost, unsure of my place and who I was to become and feeling all the pressure of needing to know myself (a lot of pressure to put on a 20-something). I was starting over, in every sense of the word. I had just moved to Denver and was living by myself again. I had moved away from my community and the people that knew me best. I had lost my creative spark and was feeling burnt out in every sense of the word. And I was afraid those sacrifices wouldn’t be worth it. But I wanted to enter this year with that core feeling of acceptance. To allow myself grace to figure it out. To put myself out there, to make mistakes, to try new things. To feel what it is like to be alive in my body and the present.
With that presence, this year felt like a day dream. One that went by so fast but was full of so many heart filling, beautiful, soul beckoning moments. A year full of things I never thought possible for myself and a year where I finally, finally felt as though I started to make sense in this wild, wonderful world. I made a home here in Denver. I fell in love with a human who makes my soul vibrate and my heart melt. I rediscovered pottery and art. I took a leap and started working for myself again. I met so many incredible humans who inspire me and push me. I spent so much time outside, whether it was skiing or backpacking or hiking or biking and felt so connected to this earth. I felt more centered in my body that I have in a long time and am leaving this year so so excited for all the potentials of this life.
I think my biggest learning this year is that we are all just figuring it out. No one really knows what they are doing or where they are going. And that is the staggering, soul bending beauty of this precious life we get to live. That we get to exist in that unknown and feel all of the range of emotions that come with that. The pain, the joy, the laughter, the tears, the anger, the nerves, the excitment. That magic lives in the release and acceptance of just allowing ourselves to live and feel and to be pulled in whatever direction we are supposed to be. And that when we look back, it all will make sense.
For 2023, I wish for more patience in what’s to come and other people’s destinies. I hope to lose the ego around my creativity and create without bounds again. I hope to rediscover practices that used to light me up: drawing, screen printing, punch needling and find who I am with those art forms again. I hope to explore other countries and feel the excitement of being completely immersed in other cultures. I hope for endless weekends surrounded by trees and the people I love. For adventures in Stan, if he decides he is finally ready to be on the road. I hope to fall deeper and deeper in love with Ori and continue to build our future together. I hope to be kind to myself and to really listen to what my mind, body and soul needs and to give myself grace to make mistakes. I hope to move more; to music, at yoga, on my bike, on the trail, in any way I can. I hope to continue to foster a community and really invest in relationships. To read more, write more, and tell the people I care about, how much I care about them more. I hope to learn more about the magic of the world and plants and dive deeper into my spirituality again. And I hope to continue to foster love and grace for myself and others, because we all deserve it. Cheers to the next year and hopefully feeling even more centered and alive at the end of it.
Here are some of my fav moments from 2022 (rambles continued after):
1 life-altering love, 6 pottery classes, 3 backpacking trips, 50 pints of ice-cream, 1 full ski season, 1 newly painted VW van, 10 sunrises, 1 pupper, 25 bike rides, 2 cats, 20 hikes, 1 new therapist, 3 tattoos, 20 pizzas, 5 sad cries, 15 happy cries, 100s of hours of Spotify, 3 mountain lake swims, 3 hot spring dips, 1 magical birthday weekend and here we are, the end of one of the most beautiful years yet. Cheers to this next year being full of as many surprises as 2022.
xx Kait