Woooooo. 2024. How do I even begin to put into words this year. This big, beautiful, expansive year. I think the one word that comes to mind over and over again is disbelief. Disbelief with where I am and that life can really be this wonderful and full. I feel as though I am in a stage of life that just feels so, so sweet. And I want to slow down time and draw out every last breath around it. It’s one that I wish I could write to my younger self at 5, 15, and 20 about. To feed their hungry souls with the possibility that the wild, beautiful full life they dream of is out there. And to hold them and tell them to keep caring and loving that wild piece of themselves that is searching for it and never feel insecurity around the desire for more from life and the beautiful search to find it.
This year was a big one and the biggest moment was that I got married. Something I never thought would happen in my 20s and at some points, at all. And it was the perfect accumulation of self and community and partnership. And I wish everyone that experience. When thinking about it, it truly is the only time you get everyone together in your life that has had a vital role in who you are besides when you die. Both being celebrations of life and who you are, but only one that you can experience that reflection and love with them. And my dear god, did it make me emotional. To see so many people who have raised me up when I have felt small or too weird or too loud, who have been mentors and soul friends and humans I admire to the depth of my being. And to feel that outpouring of love and joy and just celebrate existence and love together. It was a feeling I don’t think I will ever get over. One I hope I never will be able to replicate as it exists as the most perfect moment in time. And one that I was able to share with the best human I truly believe I have ever met, my husband (EEKKK!).
Sweet, sweet O (you get your own paragraph, look at you). My best friend. My partner. My entire heart. Being able to shout my love from the rooftops for you this year was my favorite moment. You are my favorite being and life got so much sweeter and made so much more sense when you entered it. You challenge me, love me fiercely even when I shut down and am sad and you make me better in every possible way. I have never met someone so beautiful in every sense of the word. Who cares for people and community and the world and just being a good, kind, goofy human so much. Who dreams so big and who takes jokes always a little too far. You make me laugh and annoy the heck out of me. And the fact that this is just the very very beginning of us still, makes me so giddy. Marrying you was the easiest decision of my life and one I would make a million times over. Imagining all we will experience and create together makes me so hopeful for every year to come. I love you endlessly.
This year I was also able to celebrate so many friends weddings and being together with so pals from different stages of my life really left an impact on how important those relationships are to me. Of how I have become who I am by being in these humans presences. By learning to love them and through their love and support in who I am, learning to love myself. And how beautiful it is to be going through so many life moments and changes together. To grow and shift and still have that through-line of connection and impact and joy in each others lives. It reminded me to call my pals. To check in. To celebrate their successes and be there for their sadness. And to just make time to keep exploring and experiencing with all those beautiful people in my life. I just love each of the humans in my life so much and can’t wait to keep experiencing all the highs and lows of life with them.
And in all the highs of this year I also felt really deep lows. Ones that I feel are very poignant in lessons I still have to learn and things I hope to keep working on and giving myself grace and space for this next year. My biggest being my ability to exist in the stillness. After the rush of planning a wedding and it flying by, I was hit with a moment where I was just able to be still and present and slow and it scared the shit out of me. I realized that I have spent so much of my life racing. To the next goal, to achieve, to create, to be the best I can be. And in that I have lacked the ability to just savor and enjoy. To sit on the rock and just eat the ripe peach and enjoy it’s existence. I find that in seeking the next thing, I don’t have to worry about all the voices or things in my head that feel too heavy to face head on. Or in achieving I will be more worthy of what I accomplish and the love and praise I receive. And yet that couldn’t be farther from the truth. I ache for a slow existence. One of books and slow cups of tea in the morning. Of tending to a garden and chickens. Of days spent savoring the smell of one tree and sitting listening to the songs of a creek. I dream of creating a home and of teaching a little one to color and not caring if it’s in the lines. So I really hope I can get used to that discomfort and sit in the things I am afraid to feel so that that stillness can become each of the dreams I want it to be.
So, for 2025, I wish for more patience for myself in my own personal growth and to really find peace in the stillness. I hope to lose the ego around my creativity and create like I’m a kid again. I hope to continue to find more time for practices that light me up: pottery, drawing, screen printing, knitting, punch needling and find who I am with those art forms again. I hope to explore other countries and feel the excitement of being completely immersed in other cultures. I hope for endless weekends surrounded by trees and the people I love. I hope to fall deeper and deeper in love with Ori and to continue to build the most beautiful life together. I hope to be kind to myself and to really listen to what my mind, body and soul needs and to give myself grace to make mistakes and learn from them. I hope to move more; to music, at yoga, on my bike, on the trail, in any way I can (and to crush my first 16km run). I hope to continue to foster a community and really invest in relationships, what beauty community and belonging are. To read more, write more, and tell the people I care about, how much I care about them more. I hope to learn more about the magic of the world and plants and dive deeper into my spirituality again. And I hope to continue to foster love and grace for myself and others, because we all deserve it. Cheers to the next year and hopefully feeling even more centered, alive and in love at the end of it.
Here are some of my fav moments from 2024 (rambles continued after):
1 marriage, 10 Guinness’s, 1 tin whistle, 20 fantasy books, 1 mushroom hat, 3 new hobbies, 40 pints of ice-cream, 1 ski season, 1 successful van trip, 1 70s disco cowboy wedding, 3 new tattoos, 5 friends weddings, 1 14er, 1 mini-moon, 3 trips to Cincy, 1 healing experience in Taos, 10 bike rides, 1 Ren Faire, 2 international trips, 1 gals backpacking trip, 100s hours of Spotify, 5000 wedding photos and here we are at the end of one of the most beautiful years yet. Cheers to this next year being full of as many surprises and love as 2024.
xo
Kait