Life has been moving and grooving, and somehow I have already been living in California for over a month (wut?). It has been a period full of lots of exciting and scary feelings and emotions that I don’t even know how to begin to understand. There has been a lot of processing and shifting and learning and growing and lots of thinking about new goals and redefining what I want out of my life and out of my time here in California.
Packing up all my things and driving across the country with my parents (& Meg for a few days) was a thing of beauty (like a Rascal Flats song where your heart breaks but you are happy at the same time). It reminded me of road trips as a kid, full of rest stop picnics, gas station chocolate stops and Dixie Chicks on repeat. It was the perfect celebratory send off, and felt like the end of an era (sobbing thinking about it). Having them here to move me into my apartment and help me settle into a new place and area is something I will forever be grateful for. But watching them get in the car to drive back to Kentucky was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Knowing that our lives will not exist the same as they have for the past 22+ years, where I lived in close proximity and could go home for a dinner or some cookies whenever I needed is so strange and hard to wrap my head around (thank g for facetime).
I am no stranger to San Francisco, but living in Oakland feels very new, which is exciting but also nerve-wracking. It is a completely new area with new corners, cafes and so so many new people to meet (hi, be my friend?). The BART (train) ride in to work is hot and stuffed with so many humans (like how are there actually that many people in SF). Work has changed a bit but the same beautiful people exist and make each day worth it and the days so enjoyable. My apartment feels like home, but it is my first time living alone and it weird coming home and not having another human to talk to about my day or watch a movie with. Overall, I am happy with where I am but struggling to get into a groove and get used to the amount of humans that surround me everyday in a big city (which is why I have been trying to find my way into nature every weekend to hug some trees and feel at peace with the earth and this time in my life).
I think the biggest learning curve has been trying to wrap my head around the fact that my life no longer sectioned into four month increments of school and internships. As a planner, I like to know what is coming next or what to plan for, yet being in the “real world” there is no set time limit on anything. No set period of time before I am moving to a new place or starting something new and that is WEIRD. It was a comfort to have the constant change and feeling of short periods of time to experience a new place and take advantage of it. But I think this is a huge opportunity to grow roots and really make connections and feel settled in a place which is something I don’t know if I have ever felt.
Overall I am doing okay, I am figuring it out as I go and I have faith that everything will work out as it supposed to and that if I practice kindness and keep pursing my passions things will fall into place. Before I know it, a year will have gone by and all the emotions I feel now will feel so distant. But for now I am letting myself sit in them and giving myself the space to process, reflect and learn from these feelings.
Here are some pics from the past couple of months. From the move out with the rents (bless their souls for being such amazing humans and parents and driving me across the country), to visits from Leslie (you sweet soul) and my sister (you are the greatest, thank you for putting up with me), to this past weekend with friends in a beautiful National Park (y’all rock). I really hope these Labor Day camping weekends become a tradition, because they fill my heart with so much joy and love (musings continued after):
1 new apartment, 2 visits from friends, 1 cross country road-trip, 1 work offsite, 3 campfire meals, 2 starry nights, 3 volcanoes, 5 appearances of Ol’ Smokey Eye, 1 local shop milkshake, 10000 wasps, 3 farmers market visits, 4 state parks, 1 new job, 60 rides on BART, 3 bottles of bubbly, 2 tattoos, 5+ cry sessions, 4 thermal pools, 6 lakes and so many thoughts and feelings later, here we are in adulthood. Cheers to making it a crazy, big, beautiful adventure and knowing that it’s gonna be a hell of a ride.
Cheers - keleniak
#heckya